Elevate, Empower, and Shine: The Characteristics of a Diva

A Diva is not defined by glamor, spotlight, or perfection.

A Diva is defined by strength. Loyalty. Sisterhood.

It’s about surrounding yourself with women who are secure enough to celebrate you, bold enough to challenge you, and loving enough to encourage you when you want to crawl under a rock.

That has been my story for the last eight years.

The military can be a cutthroat world, especially for women. Competition is real. Pressure is constant. And vulnerability is often mistaken for weakness. But within that environment, I had the absolute luxury of meeting some of the most extraordinary women of my life.

At every duty station, there was that “sister from another mister.” But the most memorable bonds came later in my career.

On my first deployment, there was a commander who simply needed a friend. Her husband wasn’t showing up for her, and leaving wasn’t an option. So we created our own therapy.

Every day for four months, we pounded pavement — rucking four miles with 30 pounds on our backs. Those miles became sacred space. She vented. She cried. She processed. She was fully herself without judgment.

When she returned home, she made the difficult decision to divorce. We never stopped talking. I promised her that if she ever needed me, I would be there. Two years later, she returned that loyalty. She became the mirror I needed when I was navigating my own storms.

Then came West Point — competitive, intense, and not always welcoming to junior female officers. It could be caddy. It could be isolating.

But my suite mates? They became my lifeline.

We held each other’s hands. We held each other’s hair. We held space for one another in ways that only women who understand can. When the world outside felt dismissive, we built our own sanctuary.

We hosted teas in our office — cucumbers, laughter, spa days, and what we lovingly called our “cup of love.” The men in our section were invited, but the intention was clear: this was nourishment for our souls.

To this day, we are still on a group chat. We survived New York and COVID together. And I wouldn’t trade that bond for anything.

Then came more deployments. Then loss.

Within two years of returning, I lost both of my parents. Grief arrived heavy and relentless. Around the same time, I underwent multiple-disc neck surgery. There were moments I truly did not know how I would stand back up.

And that is when my sisters — from childhood to the military — surrounded me in a way I could have never imagined.

They checked on me when I thought I might break.They sent flowers. Cards. Texts. Calls.They showed up in quiet, consistent ways.

Not all of them were military. But every single one of them is my sister.

After closing my parents’ affairs and healing from surgery, I finally exhaled. I could breathe again. And I realized what truly matters: faith, family, and my ladies.

They know who they are.

They did not forget me when I wasn’t sure I would make it through. God carried me — and so did they.

Each week, I send a group text just to remind them that I love them. Because without those women, I would not be who I am today.

They empowered me when I did not think I could take another hit.They elevated me when I was on the floor.And now, we shine — because of each other.

That is the true characteristic of a Diva.

Not competition.Not comparison.But elevation, empowerment, and light.

And when women choose to rise together instead of against each other, we all shine brighter.